9 22 19

fun times.jpg

Who am I. What is wrong with me. Why am I sitting in my childhood bedroom crying? Over a boy!?!? Over a boy, just like I did when I was 12 years old and that one boy didn’t like me back. And then moved to somewhere else (I can’t even remember). But was He just a boy? He, him, who made promises about only wanting a life with me, only caring for me. Forever. How exactly am I supposed to keep doing this? We didn’t even make it to marriage to confirm these promises, to validate these feelings. And he moved on so quickly, I feel like I’m fucking up by even having them? What the fuck to do. First of all, eradicate the word fuck from my vocabulary. I’m ruining relationships left and right, yelling at my parents, peddling this story to anyone who will listen and all-around being the absolute worst version of myself. I hope somehow, someday, the end result will be a softer me but for right now you guys just get this screw-up. God, I don’t know what to do. Oh God, He just texted me. Well now what the fuck do I do?

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9 23 19